We crack me up. We have all these plans and ideas. We keep trying to think of the next big thing for this blog. We are searching for it’s purpose. We even had a bunch of ideas while we were skating around the rink last weekend.
But the other night when I was sitting in the tub, I thought maybe we’re not supposed to do anything with this blog. Maybe the whole purpose of Perfect Mamas was bringing us together. Maybe our blog was a tool not to develop but for us to find and get to know each other. The other person who lives their life out loud on the stage for all to see. The other person who has writing in their heart and books coursing through her veins. Maybe all our attempts at reinvention have been for naught. Maybe it’s our friendship we were creating and we were never meant to do anymore with this blog.
I am crazy???
Your older than the hills friend and skating buddy,
Dear Friend who loves idolization…
DAMN ~ You are dead on about the whole idolization thing!! I really hadn’t thought of it quite like that. Christian’s (it’s funny that you chose to call him Mr. Grey and I chose Christian…what does that say about us??) idolization of Ana was something I swooned over. You are right too, that this time in our lives dictates how much swooning can be done. And yes, any type of “red room of pain” I used to have has been transformed into a solitary, blissful place where children aren’t allowed to bother me and it’s now known as the bathtub.
So, where am I going with this? Back to beautiful. Christian calls Ana beautiful any chance he gets…it’s my favorite part of his idolization of her. And I told you yesterday that someone told me they thought I was beautiful. I wasn’t telling the story to be vain or ask for compliments. I really was just telling you that because it stunned me, truly and honestly stunned me.
I told you the outcome but I didn’t tell you the story so here it is…
I was grocery shopping in Kroger the other day ~ totally minding my own business but smiling at other people as I passed them, got in their way or nearly rammed my cart into them. I would smile at them if they caught my eye, apologize to them if I screwed up and then move on my way. I was almost finished gathering my groceries and was standing in the middle of an aisle contemplating my shopping list when a man’s voice broke through to my brain. I looked up to see an attractive man standing in front of me. I have no idea what he said to get my attention but here I was looking up at this man who was obviously talking to me. And then my attention focused as he said “Are you a natural red head?” HUH, I thought. I was expecting him to ask me what brand of salsa I liked or if I could move my cart so he could get to something I was blocking. I was in no way expecting that question so I stumbled over my thoughts and my words tumbled out like a tangled mess. “Ummm, no but I have a lot of red in it so I just kinda went with it.” And that’s when he said “Beautiful! Your hair is gorgeous an it suits you beautifully. I saw you before, around the store, and I just had to tell you.” Well, to borrow Ana’ phrase…my “inner Goddess” woke her ass up and beamed at this attractive man standing before me…actually I think the beaming was from the lights in the store reflecting off of my braces and I truly hope I didn’t blind him. Anyway…back to my own personal inner Goddess ~ the man walked away leaving me standing there, stunned. I had to reach down and help my poor, little inner Goddess off of the floor. She tried to do a back flip but she’s so stinking out of shape that she pulled her hamstring. So there she was, lying on the floor and she was singing ~ wildly off key but she was singing. Once I got her up, she and I strolled arm in arm to the registers to check out, and she was humming the entire time, making me forget whatever else was on my shopping list…actually forgetting I even had a shopping list. WOW ~ someone called me beautiful…OK, so he may have been talking about my hair but at this point in life, with a gimpy, inner Goddess who pulls her hamstring at the smallest compliment and sings off key, I’ll take it and run with, pretending he called me beautiful.
I went home and crawled into my own personal red room of pain, now known as the tub, and remembered back on the days when my inner Goddess was limber and lithe, never fearing a pulled hammy or worrying about singing off key, but I don’t think she was as good at accepting a compliment back then as she is now. This time, she and I just smiled and said “WOW! Thank you!” rather than stumbling around lamely looking like a moron not knowing how to accept a compliment. So, I guess I’ll take a gimpy, inner Goddess who sings off key and can accept a compliment.
Anyway, just thought you should know the rest of the story about being called beautiful. It kinda made me laugh.
Signed, your friend who has learned how to take a compliment but whose inner Goddess may need to employ a personal trainer and get some voice lessons.
“The heart that gives, gathers.” Tao Te Ching
Dear Beautiful Jenni,
You are right. Mr. Grey thought Anastasia was beautiful. But it was more than looks for him. All of his women looked the same, just like his birth mother. After he realized she had the look, he began to idolize her. He worshipped her. He was absolutely smitten. And I loved that.
Now don’t get me wrong. I know Justin adores me. I know he is smitten and would do absolutely anything for me. And he’s pretty good at showing it….most of the time. But we have four kids and crazy lives. We don’t have Christian’s disposable income. If we did I am sure Justin would have purchased the two of us a publishing house already! 🙂 After 16 years of marriage, I am lucky if he reads my text, emails or answers my phone calls. And if he does he’s not going to sign it laters, baby.
I don’t think most of my friends that have read the trilogy are out shopping for a new erotic novel. You are right. The sex made the book a little taboo – which always makes something more exciting. But it was not why I read it. In fact, the sex scenes grew tiresome by Book Three. I wasn’t dreaming about the red room of pain. I was dreaming about someone idolizing me like Christian Grey idolized Ana. Ana was beautiful by some accounts but also pretty ordinary. Her roommate Katherine was the head turner. I love that this billionaire fell for the smart, clumsy and kind of beautiful girl.
I kept reading this oh so poorly written trilogy because I wanted to see what he would do for (not to) her next. I wanted to watch the guy idolize the girl. I felt the same way while I was reading as I do when I hear the song Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars. Imagine getting an email while you are at work that went something like this…
When you smile the whole world stops for awhile. When I see your face there’s not a thing that I would change cause you’re amazing just the way you are.
(I have taken some serious liberties with mixing 50 Shades of Grey and Bruno Mars. Hope it’s all legal!). Of course, if I received that email from Justin I would probably pee in my pants from laughter. I know he loves me but he’s not going to pen those words to me. My ringtone on his phone is Everyone Wang Chung Tonight. It cracks him up when i call and he’s in a meeting. I’m certain Christian has a different ringtone for Ana.
Christian Grey doesn’t make us want to leave our husbands. We know as soon as they have four kids the red room of pain will take on another meaning. Ana will change the locks and keep the key for herself. She’ll change the decor and make it the red room of leave mommy alone. I want to see how Christian and Ana turn out. Will he still idolize her in the same way? Or will the Idolization come in the form of giving Ana an afternoon to herself without anyone tugging on her? There is no way she is going to let him hang on her in the same way after her kids have been hanging on her all day.
The bottomline is we all want to be loved. Christian declared his love in every which way. Christian showed his love with his complete and sometimes misguided devotion. My guy shows his love by remembering to pick up two bunches of bananas and some spinach for my morning smoothie. I’ll take my guy…but I might dream about changing a wayward soul around.
Recently someone told me I was beautiful. WOW! Me! Beautiful…wait a minute, ME, beautiful? I’m not so sure about that. Beautiful is not a word that gets bandied about much here. I’m not sure I could tell you last time I was called beautiful…pretty, yes…that I look nice, absolutely…that I’m cute, or funny or silly, but not beautiful. That adjective doesn’t apply to me, or so I thought until the other day. The other day, just for a moment, I believed I was beautiful. And all I could do was say “Wow! Thank you!”
As I sat and reveled in the word, wondering if it really could apply to me, thoughts of “Fifty Shades of Grey” came into my head and it hit me like a ton of bricks why those books are so darn popular. You and I have talked about them and talked about them, trying to figure out the massive draw. The books are beyond titillating, to be sure, but there has to be more than that. The women who are reading these books are not just in it for the sex. You know that and I know that. So the other day, I think I figured out that they are so popular because every woman (or at least most that I know) want to believe that someone views them like Christian views Ana…beautiful, sexy, desirable. We all want to believe that our husbands, boyfriends or significant others truly believe that we, the woman who stands naked in front of them, are the most beautiful woman in the world to them. We want to believe it so we read the words, living vicariously through Ana.
Living vicariously…you and I talked about that too, relating to these books. While I never felt like I was Ana, I certainly didn’t mind reading about her life, her love and her sexual escapades. The vicarious part was voyeuristic, naughty and just a little fun. I don’t think I’d want to live that life…the red room of pain and all but I certainly don’t mind applying some of it to my own life. I enjoyed living vicariously.
But more than living vicariously, I really enjoyed hearing that someone thinks I, ME, am beautiful so I don’t have to live vicariously…I can live in my own here and now.
With love, from your sappy, romantic at heart friend who can’t seem to get enough of tawdry, steamy novels with a hot man who likes to tell his lover that she is the most beautiful woman in the world,
“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” Andre Gide